The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy and celebration, but for many, it can be a challenging period due to increased stress and pressure to socialize. The added expectations and obligations can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression, making it essential to have strategies in place to cope. This article will help you understand why you get anxious at the holidays and provide practical holiday mental health tips to navigate the season with greater ease, helping you maintain your mental well-being amidst the festivities.
For many, the portrayal of close families and blossoming relationships can be alienating, making them feel like they are failing to meet societal expectations. The contrast between the perceived joy and their actual feelings can worsen mental health challenges.
Anxiety and depression are complex mental health conditions that can be problematic year round. The stress of holiday preparations, coupled with the pressure to be jolly, can trigger or intensify symptoms of anxiety. Meanwhile, the reflective nature of the season can sometimes lead to depressive thoughts.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression related to the changing seasons. The shorter days and lack of sunlight during the winter months can contribute to SAD. Understanding and addressing SAD is crucial during the holiday season, as it can significantly impact an individual’s mental health.
What causes anxiety and depression to intensify around the holiday season?
This complex phenomenon is influenced by several factors:
- Social Expectations and Pressure – being festive and social can be overwhelming. If you suffer from social anxiety or tend to be an introvert, these interactions are especially difficult
- Financial Stress – expectations for gift giving, parties, white elephant games and such makes savings or staying within a budget difficult to navigate
- Family Dynamics and Conflict – As a therapist, I see the impact families have on the individual, both supportive and damaging. When there are conflicts, adding in the financial triggers and social obligations, family relationships can be particularly challenging.
What are the warning signs to be aware of?
Now that we understand more about the root of the stress, let’s look at how it manifests.
- Physical Symptoms to Monitor – unexplained physical symptoms (headaches, backaches), changes in energy and motivation (fatigue, restlessness, apathy) and GI issues (digestive problems, IBS).
- Emotional and Behavioral Changes – more irritable, withdrawn from activities they typically enjoy, unpredictable and significant mood swings without explanation
- Sleep and Appetite Disruptions – changes in sleep (outside of staying up late visiting with others), and in appetite, either over or under sleeping or eating indicate that the body is experiencing stress.
Help! I have some of those warning signs!
By taking proactive steps, you can protect your mental well-being and enjoy the festivities to their fullest.
- Setting Realistic Expectations: Get out a monthly calendar, so that you can see the big picture. Having even a small event every day can be hard on your system. Being able to see the month or week at a glance will remind you to take a break for yourself in between. Start your calendar with events that you are really obligated to go to (work party, family gathering, children’s school event) and ones that you are excited to attend (annual White Elephant with your closest friends). As invites come in, don’t feel pressured to RSVP immediately. Pencil it on your calendar and see if it fits.
- Developing a Daily Self-Care Routine: Since you have your calendar out, let’s add in a few activities that you know leave you feeling relaxed and recharged. Perhaps a massage or an out of the norm treat (facial, pedicure, haircut) can be worked in. Are there a few times during the week you can go for a walk with a friend, or to listen to your favorite podcast? Maybe you’ll have the house to yourself and can finally finish your book or that new show everyone is talking about. Schedule it now to ensure it happens!
- Identifying Personal Triggers and Responses: Think back to holiday seasons in the past, what has been the most stressful part? Spend some time reflecting on this and write it out for yourself. If you’ve overcommitted, go ahead and put a big ‘X’ over a few days proactively to give yourself time to rest. Maybe there is that one event that you feel obligated to attend that feels like nails on the chalkboard. Start planning ahead, what makes it so torturous? Can you find ways to plan around those elements, or get out of it entirely?
What happens if I’m in the moment and start to struggle?
Following are some suggestions of skills to use when you notice the anxiety creeping up, or your need for isolation increasing.
Exit Strategies and Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is essential for maintaining your mental health during holiday gatherings. This includes having a plan for when you need to take a break or leave an event early. Consider the following exit strategies:
- Have a pre-planned exit time or signal with a trusted friend or family member.
- Keep your phone charged and accessible in case you need to make a quick exit.
- Identify a quiet space where you can retreat if feeling overwhelmed.
Conversation Navigation Techniques
Navigating conversations during holiday gatherings can be difficult, especially if you’re not feeling your best or not connected to the other person or the conversation topic. To manage potentially challenging discussions, try the following techniques:
- Practice active listening to show you’re engaged without getting drawn into sensitive topics.
- Prepare a few neutral conversation topics in advance to steer discussions in a positive direction.
- Know that it’s OK to say a few white lies – you don’t need to go into your health concerns or financial struggles with everyone that asks how you’re doing.
- Use polite excuses, such as the restroom or wanting to say ‘Hi’ to someone, to change the subject or bow out of a conversation if needed.
Managing Alcohol and Substance Consumption
For some, managing substance consumption during holiday gatherings can be a significant challenge. To stay on track, consider these strategies:
- Set a limit for yourself before attending a gathering and stick to it.
- Alternate between alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages to pace your use.
- Have a support person who can help you stay accountable.
Quick Breathing Exercises
One effective mindfulness technique are short breathing exercises. By focusing on the breath, individuals can calm their nervous system and reduce anxiety – literally getting more oxygen to your brain. A simple exercise involves inhaling for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four. This Box Breathing can be done anywhere, at any time, making it a valuable tool for managing holiday stress and can be done anywhere at anytime.
Present-Moment Awareness Practices
Present-moment awareness practices involve paying attention to the current moment without judgment. This can be achieved through mindful walking, where each step is savored, or through mindful eating, where the flavors and textures of food are fully experienced. These practices help ground individuals in the present, reducing worries about the past or future. Find a quiet corner or even a bathroom stall and notice what’s around you. You can inspect the details of something mundane – the color, texture and shape of your watch. You can also focus on your senses. To prepare for this, you can bring along sensory items – a mint, lotion, water are all effective.
Nutrition and Physical Activity for Mood Management
Nutrition and physical activity play significant roles in managing our mood during the holidays, offering a foundation for mental health resilience. As we navigate the festive season, it’s essential to strike a balance between enjoying holiday treats and maintaining healthy habits.
Supporting Loved Ones With Mental Health Struggles
When our loved ones experience mental health struggles it requires empathy, understanding, and a thoughtful approach. The holiday season can be a challenging time.
What to Say (and What Not to Say)
When interacting with loved ones who are struggling, it’s crucial to be mindful of our words. Phrases that minimize their feelings or offer unsolicited advice can be harmful. Instead, focus on active listening and validate their emotions. Simple expressions like “I’m here for you” or “I’m sorry you’re going through this” can be incredibly supportive.
Practical Ways to Offer Help
Offering practical help can significantly ease the burden on loved ones that are struggling. This can include helping with household chores, cooking meals, or running errands. Even small gestures, like accompanying them to appointments or being available for a phone call, can make a big difference.
Setting Boundaries While Being Supportive
While supporting loved ones, it’s essential to set boundaries to maintain your own mental health. This might mean limiting the amount of time you spend with them or taking breaks when needed. Being clear about your own needs and limitations can actually enhance your ability to be supportive.
Managing Holiday Grief and Loss
The festive atmosphere of the holidays can sometimes heighten feelings of loss and grief. For those who have lost loved ones, the holiday season can be a particularly poignant time, filled with reminders of happy memories and current absence.
Honoring Absent Loved Ones
One way to navigate holiday grief is by finding meaningful ways to honor absent loved ones. This can include lighting a candle in their memory, sharing stories about them during family gatherings, or visiting places that held special meaning to them. These acts can provide comfort and help keep their memory alive.
Creating New Traditions
While maintaining cherished traditions is important, creating new ones can also be a therapeutic way to cope with loss. This might involve starting a new recipe that was meaningful to your loved one or engaging in activities that they enjoyed. By doing so, you can begin to forge a new sense of normalcy during the holiday season.
Giving Yourself Permission to Feel
It’s essential to give yourself permission to feel the full range of emotions during the holiday season. Grieving is a personal and unique experience, and there’s no set timeline for healing. Allowing yourself to feel sadness, anger, or any other emotions that arise can be a crucial step in the healing process.
By acknowledging your feelings and finding ways to honor your loved ones, you can navigate the challenges of holiday grief with greater ease and find moments of peace amidst the season. Barbara Lee, LCSW, specializes in supporting those that are grieving.
When to Seek Professional Help
Knowing when to seek professional help can be a crucial step in managing anxiety and depression. While it’s normal to feel overwhelmed during this time, there are signs that indicate you need additional support.
Signs That Additional Support Is Needed
If you’re experiencing persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety that interferes with your daily life, it may be time to seek help. Other signs include changes in appetite or sleep patterns, difficulty concentrating, or thoughts of self-harm.
Types of Mental Health Resources
There are various mental health resources available, including therapists, counselors, and support groups. Some people benefit from online therapy sessions, while others prefer in-person . It’s essential to find a resource that fits your needs and preferences.
Accessing Care During the Holiday Season
Accessing mental health care during the holiday season can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Many therapists and counselors offer flexible scheduling, and some even provide emergency sessions. If you’re struggling to find the right resource, consider asking your primary care physician for a referral or contacting your health insurance provider for a list of in-network mental health professionals.
Next steps
Implementing mental health tips such as setting realistic expectations, developing a self-care routine, and practicing mindfulness can make a significant difference. Additionally, being aware of the potential triggers and having a plan in place for managing anxiety and depression can help you navigate challenging situations.
Finding your holiday peace is a personal journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and resilience. By incorporating the strategies outlined in this article and being open to seeking help when needed, you can cultivate a more positive and peaceful holiday experience.
You’re Not Alone. Our Therapists are here to help, in Pearland, TX.
Hang in there. This won’t last forever, even if some days feel like it might. You’re planting the seeds for future blossoms. All our therapists at Blue Horizon Counseling offer sessions both in person and via telehealth. Find the right therapist for you. We accept most major insurance plans.
How to Start Therapy Today
Blue Horizon Counseling is located in Pearland, Texas for in person sessions. We are located at the corner of Broadway and Hwy 35, in northern Brazoria County and near southern Harris County. Follow these steps to get started on your journey:
1.
2.
3.
Contact Us
Have your first session
Address your Stressors
Written by Heather Dunn, Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor, specializing in trauma, dissociation and EMDR. Heather has been practicing for over 20 years and enjoys sharing her knowledge and helpful tips.
If you found this article helpful, be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram.