Couples therapy, or marriage counseling, is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on improving communication and resolving conflicts between partners. It helps couples understand each other’s needs and behaviors, fostering a more empathetic and supportive relationship.
Just like individual therapy, there are a number of reasons a couple might engage in couples counseling.
- Communication issues, conflict resolution
- Infidelity and trust, loss of intimacy
- Life transitions, conflicts in parenting
- Financial pressures
FAQs of Couples Therapy
What should I expect when I start couples therapy?
- Initial consent forms and paperwork, each of you will have your own to fill out
- Many therapists will have a shared/joint session, then an individual session
- You may be asked to complete assessments
- Develop treatment goals
What is the role of vulnerability in couples therapy?
Often the hardest part is the necessity of being vulnerable in front of someone that may not be emotionally safe anymore. The very nature of why you came to therapy – loss of connection or emotional intimacy makes it scary to let your guard down.
The only way to mend the relationship is by honestly expressing yourself, sharing your pain and how it’s being triggered. As the partner, you need to be able to put your own needs aside, temporarily, and allow yourself to offer support.
Once this emotional exchange is reignited, the rest will be easier to navigate.
What is the therapist’s role in couples therapy?
The main role is to be unbiased and non-judgemental. They do this by making sure both of you are heard and understood, in doing so, developing trust and communication.
Their client is the relationship itself, not one or both people. This shifts the focus from ‘fixing’ someone to problem-solving and guiding.
As an outsider, they are more capable of identifying the root of the problem. As a professional, they have the tools and objectivity to address the root.
What if my partner refuses to go to therapy?
This can get tricky, and a definite sign that tensions are high. There are a number of reasons to refuse to participate – they fear they will be called out for bad behavior, they are worried about vulnerabilities being exposed, belief it’s a waste of time and money, or they are not ready/willing to recognize the severity of the problem, to name a few.
Even if your partner won’t go, it may still be beneficial for you to attend individually. Relationship problems come from both sides. Individual therapy may help you address some of your own hang ups, and consequently improve your quality of life.
When should I seek help from a couples therapist for my relationship?
Ideally, the sooner the better. If you find outside help when you first start to notice problems, you’re less likely to delve deep into resentments and injuries that are hard to return from.
- Frequent, trivial arguments that quickly escalate
- Avoidance of one another
- Same fights are happening over and over with resolution
- Find yourself fantasizing of being single
- Find yourself fantasizing about another person or having an affair
- Major life event is overwhelming the relationship
What techniques would my couples therapist use?
- Communication exercises, such as active listening – repeating back what you heard your partner say to gain clarity and understanding
- Conflict resolution strategies – identifying triggers, pause and returning to arguments
- Emotional awareness and regulation skills
- Addressing personal baggage you may bring to the relationship
What happens in couples therapy?
- Communication exercises, such as active listening – repeating back what you heard your partner say to gain clarity and understanding
- Conflict resolution strategies – identifying triggers, pause and returning to arguments
- Emotional awareness and regulation skills
- Addressing personal baggage you may bring to the relationship
How to Start Couples Counseling Today
Blue Horizon Counseling is excited to provide support for people struggling in their relationship. We support both in person and virtually across Texas. The good news is that there is help. Several therapists are on staff to meet your individual needs and preferences, offering a variety of different kinds of therapy. Follow these steps to get started today:
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Contact Us
Have your first session
Address your Stressors
Once we’ve verified your insurance benefits, you will schedule your first appointment, the intake. This is where you’ll get to know your therapist and set therapy goals.
As you continue to meet with your therapist, and develop a relationship, you will start to notice progress towards your goals. Life will feel more manageable, and you can plan for a better future.
BHC approach Couples Therapy
Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing
EMDR has been around since the late 1980’s. It takes advantage of natural brain processes to ‘thaw’ memories that have been ‘frozen’ in time. These memories lay the foundation to current struggles (depression, anxiety, PTSD). Once the memory is processed, it no longer influences how we think and feel about ourselves and the world.
Learn more about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
These therapists offer EMDR: Barbara, Heather, Lee Ann and Madeline
Family Systems Therapy
Family systems therapy sees each member of the family as one peice of the larger family. This approach will focus on relationship patterns, roles in the system and how communication occurs (or doesn’t). The family is ‘the problem’, rather than one person.
By healing the family, or the system, you also heal the individuals. We can visualize this as a ripple in a pond. One individual’s struggle (with mental health, sobriety, or work issues) creates waves that affect the whole family (the pond). When the surrounding water learns to absorb the impact differently, the disruptive ripple loses its power.
Learn more about Family Systems Therapy.
These therapists offer Family Systems Therapy: Madeline
Gottman Method
Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this method focuses on conflict management, deepening intimacy and connection and breaking down destructive communication patterns.
In particular, this method assesses for the ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Once uncovered, you will work through specific techniques to once again find peace and harmony.
Learn more about the Gottman Method.
These therapists offer the Gottman Method: Madeline
BHC approach to medication
Medication can be a very useful addition to the therapy provided by your therapist. We are open to discussing medication options with you. It is important to note that we will never require medication, or try to persuade you in either direction (to use or not to); however, we will share observations and insights from our own experiences and observations.
We do not have anyone on staff that is able to prescribe medication, however, we can help you find someone that can.
