Starting a path toward healing often feels very hard. Many people struggle alone with habits they want to change. Overcoming porn addiction requires real courage and the right tools to rebuild your life. Seeking help from experts can change your life in many ways. Professional guidance provides a safe space to find the root causes of behavior. Addiction therapy for pornography offers the support you need to regain control.
How do you know if you’re addicted to porn?
Porn addiction shows up in a variety of ways and has many different consequences. You may not have all of these symptoms, if you have several of them it is time to seek professional help.
Behavioral Symptoms
- Loss of control – unable to limit or stop watching porn, even when you feel motivated to avoid it
- Escalation – needing to watch more frequently, for longer periods or more extreme material for arousal
- Compulsion – Significant time thinking about viewing, planning when/how/what to view and engaging in viewing
- Neglect – ignoring obligations with family, work, school, social events and hobbies in favor of porn
- Secrecy – engaging in porn related behaviors alone, lying about use, minimizing time spent
Emotional and Psychological Symptoms
- Shame and Guilt – After a sense of relief from engaging with porn, there is a period of feeling remorseful and bad about yourself, cycling back into a strong desire to use again
- Emotional Numbing – Porn becomes your reflexive response to stress, anxiety and intense emotions
- Withdrawal – anxiety, depression and irritability when trying to cut back or stop
- Isolation – disconnection from others as you spend more time engaging in your addiction and avoiding others that may condone your behavior
- Dysfunctional Fantasies – porn is an extreme exaggeration of real-life sexuality; these unrealistic expectations will interfere with intimacy with actual partners
Relational and Life Consequences
- Relationship Problems – secrecy and lying results in emotional distancing, lack of trust, ongoing conflicts about finances
- Decreased Intimacy – lack of interest or satisfaction in ‘flawed’ real life sexual encounters, partners being unwilling to engage in specific fantasies
- Poor Performance – impacts on work and school resulting in relational and financial issues
- Financial – pornography, in all its forms, is expensive, especially as the addiction escalates, resulting in financial hardship, ruined credit, overextended debt, bankruptcy
- Risky Behaviors – dangerous or unsafe sexual behaviors and encounters, extreme actions to pay for addiction
Pornography and the Brain
Pornography, as with other addictions, leads to long-term neurobiological changes within the brain’s reward system. The intention is to ensure survival by rewarding eating, sex for procreation and connection to others. Humans have found ways to activate this system, dopamine release, at will. This still includes food, sex for pleasure, drugs, winning competitions and being successful. It’s not all bad. When pleasure seeking controls your moods and behaviors is when it becomes problematic, an addiction.
When we get a dopamine boost, our prefrontal cortex works to identify what triggered it so that it can replicate it again. The thrill of winning at poker, leveling up on your video game, or viewing porn all activate the dopamine. Our brains learns to repeat the behavior to get that high again. The need to repeat that pleasure will override our impulse control systems, causing a user to continue despite any negative consequences. Before you know it, pornography becomes the only way to feel joy or counteract anxiety and stress.
How can I get help with a porn addiction?
The first thing to remember is that most insurance policies cover therapy for addictions, your out of pocket costs will depend on your specific plan. With this in mind, many people start their process with an outpatient mental health therapist. Initially they will do an evaluation with you and assess if you have need a higher level of care; depending on the severity of your addiction, type of addiction and the extent of your support system.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is recognized as an effective type of treatment. It helps you identify negative thought patterns that have developed, such as ‘I can’t control my porn use’ or ‘Porn is the only way satisfy my desires’. Once recognized, your therapist will work with you to determine how accurate those statements are and if there are other ways of looking at the situation. Having a different outlook can lead to different behaviors.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is also very helpful. It uses your brain’s own networks and rewards center to help you see the pros and cons of your gaming more objectively. For example, it will help you see that there are downsides to your porn use, and that there are other ways to feel good about yourself.
You’re Not Alone. Our Therapists are here to help, in Pearland, TX.
Hang in there. This won’t last forever, even if some days feel like it might. You’re planting the seeds for future blossoms. All our therapists at Blue Horizon Counseling offer sessions both in person and via telehealth. Find the right therapist for you. We accept most major insurance plans.
How to Start Therapy Today
Blue Horizon Counseling is located in Pearland, Texas for in person sessions. We are located at the corner of Broadway and Hwy 35, in northern Brazoria County and near southern Harris County. Follow these steps to get started on your journey:
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Written by Heather Dunn, Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor, specializing in trauma, dissociation and EMDR. Heather has been practicing for over 20 years and enjoys sharing her knowledge and helpful tips.
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